Updated: Jan 28, 2020
In a world where self rejection, deprivation and hyper criticism are common, self love can seem to get lost, or just no where to be found. Yet this is what everyone on the planet is energetically seeking. We all desire at our core, to feel and experience love.
While I work with clients daily to empower their body and soul, I know that you can't give what you don't have so I can only help you love you, if I authentically love me first. While I do truly love myself today, for a long time self hatred and rejection was something I struggled with, until I realized that another life path of experience was possible for me.
It wasn't until I was willing to stand up for myself, begin to take steps to be kinder over time, that eventually everything in my life changed for the better. As you begin to develop (hopefully all of these aspects) through self loving choices for yourself, not only do others begin to reflect this back to you, but you begin to show up in a new whole way in life.
So where is the best place to begin? If you are reading this blog then there is some area you are seeking to refine, or perhaps a deeper clearing that may be useful around loving yourself. For others you know you have more work to do and that is ok. Honestly the first step to self love is being ok with not being ok and just desiring for that to change. This allows universal support to move you into a healthier place.
Here are a few of my favorite tips for you to begin to allow more love for your body, relationships or any aspect you know could be better:
1- Tame Your Inner Critic
When you hear the term you are your own worst energy, this is more often than not, true. Learning how to identify and then redirect your inner negative dialogue can begin to help gently clear out old patterns of lack or cruelty. Doing this can begin to shift your core to allowing just a little more ease and then kindness, and then in time true authentic love in. Start with small steps of catching inner nasty dialogue and then over time begin to replace it with more positive statements.
2- Up Your Self (LOVE) Care
Get clear on what specific personal choices around your self care actually give you the experience of loving yourself. Not trying to keep up with the latest trends or fit in with others. If you work out but then constantly feel hate what you see in the mirror, that is obviously counter productive. If you shop only to get blocked by obsessing over the mannequins measurements, again going backwards. Ask to find what choices will create more support for your body and mind. A sea salt bath, time alone in nature, or whatever it is that leaves you balanced and in hope is always a good bet but just be sure you really feel good from whatever you choose.
3- Knowing That Boundaries + 'NO' IS LOVE
Learning how to develop and then reinforce ongoing boundaries with everything is key. There are times when saying "NO" can mean honoring and loving you. Until you are willing to do this, then others will highly likely lean in and challenge you all over the place. Boundaries can upgrade as you progress in your experience, so its not about locking everyone out as much as it is knowing what really works for you. Then going another step to honor yourself in every choice.
As you keep putting one foot in front of the other with developing self love in the way that will inevitably be unique to you, it will get easier. Asking every day "how can I be and express more love in my life and living today?" is a great way to get inspired and begin to be your best while illuminating others to the same. Remember love always wins.
Intuitive Cathleen Miller
Intuitive Business + Life Coaching, Readings & Lake Tahoe Wellness Retreat 2020
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